The Incredibles

Last night I had an extremely involved dream that would take much too long to explain, but the gist of the story was that I and several other members of my medical school class were siblings growing up in a family of crime-fighting superheroes. Somehow, I got word from the future that Jon's radioactive superpowers would one day give me cancer (kind of like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen), so I had to leave the family and deal out justice on my own. Along my way, I met an investigative journalist who tagged along and helped me take down villains while protecting my real identity (kind of like Lois Lane from Superman). It was only the second dream I remember having where the character wasn't someone I knew in real life.

In other news, it's Sunny's birthday today, and we're going to McGrady's Trivia Night to celebrate. I swear it, we're going to win tonight. In fact, I'm going to explicitly forbid Paul from coming so that we don't have a repeat performance of our last attempt at Mellow Mushroom Trivia Night. I'm not still bitter about it...

Biking Across the Atlantic

Today, all of the former and current class officers plus Chrissy biked all the way to Uganda. Okay, maybe not all the way... but at least 100 miles of it. It was part of a fundraising event for Building Tomorrow, an organization that raises funds to help vulnerable children in sub-Saharan Africa. Anyway, it was a nice way to get a 30-minute workout on the middle of the Lawn. The only weird part was when this random Asian girl walked up and started taking pictures of us and then of Titan, who was leashed to the information table. Then again, who am I to criticize someone for taking pictures at inappropriate times?

After we finished biking, I had to go back to school in order to conduct a full history and physical exam. The standardized patients were all current fourth years, and as luck would have it, I ended up with Jason. I went in predicting that I would get someone I was friends with, and as it turned out, it was just as awkward as I had imagined that it would be. On the bright side, it's all over with, so now I can sit back and laugh as everybody else does it over the next two weeks.

Too Good to Be True

Yesterday was Second Look Day at the UVA School of Medicine, where many of the accepted students came to visit the school again before making their final decisions. Ben stayed with me for the entire weekend, which obviously meant that I got no work done whatsoever. I dragged him to our Anything But Clothes party, an event that I have chosen to completely block from my memory, and also to Buddhist, where we hung out with several of the members of the Class of 2013. And, because all things weird happen at Buddhist, we saw a guy there last night who randomly started playing bagpipes. What??

Before going out, Ben suggested that we grab dinner at The Flat (or, as everyone I know calls it, the Crepe Place). He also showed me the Quick Gym located in the Water Street Parking Garage. Weird, I know. The entire gym is literally the size of my living room, furnished with a desk and two Range of Motion (ROM) machines. According to their official website, the ROM machine gives a full workout (equivalent to 15 minutes of stretching, 25 minutes of muscular endurance training, and 40 minutes of cardiovascular endurance training) in 4 minutes. I know the product sounds too good to be true, but my curiosity makes me want to go see for myself what working out on the ROM machine actually feels like. Anybody wanna go with me sometime?

Medical Neuroscience

I just took our Neuro quiz. It opened today and doesn't close until next week, but I decided to get it over with instead of waiting and fretting until the last minute like I usually do. Well, maybe I should have waited and fretted just a little bit longer, because I ended up getting a 60%, just one question shy of passing. Drats, foiled again by the corticobulbar tracts!

It has been so long since I've failed a quiz that it's almost refreshing (albeit pretty pathetic at the same time). I feel like I'm back in first semester, failing everything that comes across my path. How young, how innocent, how unprepared I was for the medical school curriculum! And apparently how young, how innocent, and how unprepared I have become once again. I guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

But at least I can spend the rest of my evening preparing for the Anything But Clothes birthday party for Sunny, Lindsay, Manisha, and Melanie. Needless to say, tonight will be an epic night.

Laugh Out Loud

If you know me, then you know that few things amuse me as much as Lolcats, Loldogs, Lolruses, and basically Lolanythings. I even have a Facebook photo album called "I Has a Loldog." Then again, I have so many Facebook photo albums now that there are few phrases left in the English language that I haven't already used. Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when I went to buy butter for a picnic last year and walked out of the grocery store with a receipt for an item called "LOL SPREAD." In case you're wondering, it's for Land O'Lakes Butter. But really, why would you call it that when instead you could call it LOL SPREAD?

I have also recently become obsessed with Rolcats, or English Translations of Eastern Bloc Lolcats. The Rolcats translations are hilarious, and luckily a few Russian-speaking readers usually provide the literal translation under the comments section as well.

Ah, the internets. When will I ever do work again? Probably not anytime in the foreseeable future.

Blogging About Blogging

It's something I try to avoid, but I decided that I should take a few minutes to enumerate a few pet peeves of mine when it comes to blogging. Or, more specifically, my blog. Because let's be honest, I love talking about myself. So now I present to you:

Things Not to Do When It Comes to Blogs, And By "Blogs" I Really Just Mean the One You're Reading Right Now

1. Telling me that a certain post was funny/interesting/cool. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the fact that you liked what I wrote (in fact, I'm just happy that you're even reading my blog). But this creates a really awkward situation for me, and I never know how to respond appropriately. Should I say something like, "Thanks, I thought so too," or maybe, "I know, everything I write is funny/interesting/cool"? I guess I just have trouble integrating my life in the blogosphere (I love that word) with my life in the real world. If you really like what I just wrote, you are more than welcome to leave a comment or even send me a Gchat telling me that you LedOL. Just don't be offended if you tell it to me in person and I don't know how to react.

2. Telling me what to post about. This pretty much only occurs right after something funny happens. Every now and then, someone will say, "Haha! That was hilarious! Sam, you should blog about this." I never do. Why? Sometimes, it's because I didn't think it was as funny as you did. Sorry. Other times, I thought it was just as hilarious as you did, and probably laughed louder/harder/more obnoxiously, but I can't convert it into good reading material. Let's face it, I'm no Shakespeare. Still other times, I was actually thinking about blogging about it, but now I won't because you told me to. I know, I'm a jerk.

3. Telling me that my blog sucks. This has never actually happened to me, but if it did, I'm pretty sure that I would cry. So don't do it.

The Greatest Gift

This evening our class gathered together to commemorate the sacrifices made by those who donated their bodies to science and, in particular, to our Gross Anatomy Lab. It was a very nice memorial service, with performances by the African Drum & Dance Ensemble and the Arrhythmics as well as readings by Gauri, Tracey, and Corinne. My love/hate relationship with Anatomy is well-known, but I have nothing but respect for people who would allow unskilled medical students like us to use their bodies, hoping that it will teach us about the human body and prepare us to perhaps one day cure the illness that took the life of the donor.

In more uplifting news, apparently today was some sort of unofficial Someecards Day, because I got one from Sunny and one from Lee. It's very clear that my friends are all enablers who want to destroy any chance I may still have at a respectable life and career.

Sick As a Dog

So since Tina happened to ask...

I didn't end up running the 5k on Saturday. I woke up to my alarm at 7:30 with a fever, sore throat, headache, and stiffness all over my body. I thought that maybe it would go away by race time, but when my body still felt like crap at 8:30, I decided to take some Sudafed and go back to bed. I'm really upset that I had to miss the race, but on the bright side, I feel a lot better now. This is in spite of the minor setback caused by a Gusburger at 2am on Saturday night. Why do I never learn??

I even felt good enough to go to the gym for the first time in over three months with Matt tonight. I had been perusing my Toga party photo album, in which every other picture obviously featured at least one guy flexing. On my 43rd flip-through, I noticed that the pictures of me flexing looked a little too similar to the pictures of me... not flexing. Yep, it's about time to start lifting weights again. Even if said weights are consistently half of what Matt is lifting. Shut up.

24 Hours of College

I've spent the past 24 hours hanging out with college friends, which was an absurd break from my equally absurd life as a medical student. We had a Baptist Collegiate Ministries reunion, which meant a free home-cooked lunch and a Rotunda dinner. So much to NOM NOM, so little time!

Cal also came into town yesterday, and we went to all the usual hang-outs last night. Literally. First he told Nick and me to meet him at Mellow Mushroom, but by the time we had gotten there, he had moved on to Biltmore, and by the time we walked there, he was over at Buddhist.

Somehow, I ended up playing an hour's worth of Photo Hunt while were out last night. Scott put a $5 bill into the machine, letting us play 10 games in a row (lesson learned). A few games in, everyone else decided to go home, so I was left playing with three guys who were 1999 ZBT alumni. Wait, what?? Also, they kept calling me "Rain Man" because I was better than they were at Photo Hunt. I don't know what's going on in my life anymore. All I know is that I wanted to beat the top score, held by "HOKIEONEPOIN." What does that name even mean??

Today, I had brunch with Travis at the Virginian, where we caught up on life and on people watching. The best thing that happened on the Corner:

[Bicyclist accidentally runs into girl]
Bicyclist: "Oh God, I am so sorry!"
Girl: "You little piece of sh*t!"
Bicyclist: "I said I was sorry!!"

What Have I Done?

In Human Behavior today, we learned that the children born and raised in the seventies, eighties, and nineties are "perhaps the most spoiled generation in terms of material goods in the history of the world." I think I am living proof of that statement.

I went to Sam's Club with Jim tonight to purchase this year's supply of paper towels, toilet paper, and shaving gel. On the way back, we stopped at Best Buy so he could buy a new TV for himself. While helping him browse the selection, I came across the LG 32" 1080p Flat-Panel LCD HDTV. It was normally priced at $899, put on sale for $649, and then clearance priced at $349 with the purchase of an HDMI cable and a surge protector. Obviously, I couldn't NOT buy the TV at such a steal, so I ended up getting the entire bundle for only $477.72. Bargain price WIN; outrageous impulse buy FAIL!

Problem: In no way does a new TV fit into my budget.
Solution: Jesus fasted for 40 days; so will I.

Problem: I have no room in my house for a 32" television.
Solution: I will give it to my parents for their 25th wedding anniversary on the stipulation that I get it back when I move into a new house.

Problem: My credit card was put on hold because the last three purchases I made were 50 Foxfields tickets ($2,146.50), flights to and from Maseru, Lesotho ($1,718.29), and a new TV ($477.72).
Solution: Explain to JP Morgan Chase & Co. that in spite of how it may appear, I am not a victim of identity theft. I have simply been making very peculiar and expensive purchases over the past few days. FML.

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Apparently all I've done this week is celebrate everybody else's accomplishments: the second years, the fourth years, the Irish... Anyway, the fourth years matched to their residencies yesterday, and of course there was a huge party last night at Is Venue, where Starr Hill used to be. The DJ had the most eclectic music ever. He played the typical 80s music and hip hop music, but he also played Bob Sinclair - World Hold On (!?) and Lonely Island - I'm on a Boat (!?!?). I don't get it, but I like it.

Afterwards, Bob and I went to get Gusburgers from the White Spot (obviously). We then went to Littlejohn's to meet up with everybody else. While we were sitting there, we got hungry again... and ordered barbeque chicken sandwiches. I remember eating both Littlejohn's and White Spot once while I was in undergrad, and apparently I didn't learn from my mistake. Boy was it delicious going down, but I feel like a lump of lard today.

I Bless the Rains Down in Africa

I just booked my flights to and from Africa for this summer. Wait... I'm going to Africa!? It still hasn't really sunk in. I'll be spending four weeks in Lesotho with an interdisciplinary team from UVA, and we'll be teaching local healthcare providers how to care for AIDS patients, working on the community rabbit-raising project, and evaluating the work that has been done there over the past few years.

We start work on July 9, but I'll actually be going two weeks before the rest of my team to hang out with Russell in Johannesburg. Hopefully his work schedule will allow him to take me around to some other places in South Africa, too. My new goal is to spend part of my fourth year in South America and take a vacation to Australia during one of our remaining breaks so I can say that I've traveled to every continent by the time I graduate medical school. Now that's one goal that I CAN attain... with the help of some serious student loans. Hooray for living in debt!

Trial Run

This afternoon, Josh and I went on a trial run on the route of the Camp Holiday Trails 5K, which is put on by the medical school every year. The race is this Saturday, and all I can say right now is that I'm not going to even come close to achieving my lifetime goal of running a 5k in less than 20 minutes. One day... [shakes fist in the air]

We were walking back to Josh's place when we ran (pun intended) into Chris and his wife, Rachel. This is how our conversation went.

Chris: Hey, how was your run?
Me: Wait, you saw us running earlier?
Chris: No, you guys just look like you've been running... [points to our sweat]
Josh: And we are wearing running shoes...
Me: That's the dumbest question I've ever asked.

You know what's not dumb? Lost. Tonight at 9pm on ABC. Destiny Calls.

End of Basic Sciences Party

The second years finished their last exam yesterday, which meant that last night was the annual VMed End of Basic Sciences Party. Or, as John cruelly put it, Start of Harder Basic Sciences Party for the first years. In typical SMD12 form, we out-partied the rest of the school and stayed until we were forced to leave.

For me, the party was full of pros and cons. Pros: Free food. Open bar. Good music. Good company. Cons: Going to the bathroom. Finding all of the urinals taken. Using a stall. Realizing that the latch was broken. Being unable to get out of said bathroom stall. Fidgeting with the lock for over 30 seconds. Contemplating crawling under the door to get out. Finally grabbing the top of the door and wrenching it open with my foot pressed against the wall. Okay, so I guess that was just all one very big con.

And now, to get ready for St. Patrick's Day. Ugh. I need a nap first.

It Is Finished

Lauren had her Distinguished Major Violin Recital this afternoon, and it was, in a word, exquisite. For some bizarre reason, neither of us was nervous, and we just fell into the music. I was more "in the zone" during this performance than I have ever been in my entire life, making it one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I don't usually like to "toot my own horn" (wait, who am I kidding, yes I do), but we were freaking awesome today. It makes me wish I could go back and do my Distinguished Major Piano Recital over again.

I've been on a performance high since the recital ended, and I am absolutely unable to motivate myself to do any work. So, instead, I've been playing with Facebook for the past two hours. I was searching for more Facebook-related things when I came across this video. I agree with pretty much everything he says except for bumper stickers. Man, I love bumper stickers.

Toga Party: Great Success!

As of last night, it had been two weeks and two days since my last Toga Party. May I never have to wait that long for the excuse to drape myself in Optimus Prime fabric from Walmart again. My only gripe about togas is that they do not have pockets, so I had nowhere to keep my phone and wallet. I also couldn't put my camera away, which is my excuse for somehow ending up with 178 photos from the night. Really, Sam? REALLY??

I also spent the entirety of last night mad at Paul, who had borrowed my sheets for his toga and never returned them. I ended up having to sleep directly under my comforter, which is surprisingly not very comfortable at all. Each time I woke up in the middle of the night, I would curse Paul under my breath. When I finally got out of bed this morning, I found the sheets balled up on the floor. It turns out Paul had in fact given my sheets back to me, and all I had to do was reach down and pull them up.

When I told Sunny about this, she pointed out that I am always mad at Paul for one reason or another. This is true, and I have noticed myself that I blame him pretty much every time something goes wrong. I think it's because he's forever smiling his big, goofy smile, which leads me to believe he's hiding something from us. Am I right or am I right?

Riding Coattails

I just picked up my coattails, and I already feel ten times more important than I did when I woke up today. I rented them for Lauren's Distinguished Major Violin Recital tomorrow, and I can't wait to wear them onstage. Sure, I could have worn a normal tuxedo like any self-respecting pianist, but then how would I give the over-dramatic flip of the coattails before I sit down at the bench?

I'm pretty sure tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, second only to my own Distinguished Major Piano Recital, of course. Ah, to be young again...

At least I'm not too old to go to toga parties. Tonight is going to be amazing.

Lucid Dream

I skipped Physiology lecture today to take a nap in the library. Not only was it the most restful and restorative nap I've had in a long time, but I had my first lucid dream!

It actually began last night, when I had a dream that I was a ninja, and my mission was to steal a powerful samurai sword from a man who was bent on destroying the world. During my escape, I had to take the Tube in London to the airport. I hit a button to signal for the next train to stop, but that same button alerted my nemesis of my location, and I was quickly captured.

During my lucid dream, I had set up the exact same scenario, only this time I was aware that I was dreaming and could control my character. Learning from mistakes, I still got on the Tube, but I got off at a random location, switched routes several times, and was able to eventually escape undetected via the Channel Tunnel to France. Man, I'm an awesome ninja warrior.

Everybody Poops

Marathon runners scare me for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that they are willing to pee and poop themselves during races. I've never witnessed this with my own eyes, but I am certain that it is not a pretty sight. On top of the gross factor, I also can't figure out the mechanics of the action. How do you relax your external urethral and/or anal sphincters while you are contracting your abdominal, gluteal, quadricep, and hamstring muscles?

Anyway, here is another story about running with Titan. After a 5.1-mile run with Josh that nearly destroyed me yesterday, I decided to go for a slower jog with Titan this afternoon. We were almost home when for the umpteenth time, I felt resistance on the leash. Assuming that Titan had just gotten distracted by another bird, I kept pulling on the leash while running forward. A few seconds later, I realized that this wasn't like the rest of the stops we had taken. I turned around to see Titan crouched down and pooping on the sidewalk. As a result of me dragging him, he had literally left a 6-foot trail of poop behind him.

I quickly realized that I, foolishly, had not bring a plastic bag with me on the run. Stunned and embarrassed in front of all of the other pedestrians and the drivers stopped at the intersection, I did not know what to do. I finally resorted to grabbing a coffee cup out of a nearby trash can and using it to scoop up the poop to the best of my ability, while apologizing profusely to everybody who walked by. Residents of the French and Spanish Language Houses, if you see a giant brown smear right in front of your dorms, well, now you know what it is.

Oddly enough, I was wearing the same green hoodie that I wore when I got hit by a car door. Maybe I need to stop wearing that when I run. And maybe Titan should stop training for the Boston Marathon.


Every now and then, I search craigslist for dog supplies in case someone is selling anything that I could use for Titan. Today, I came across the jackpot. And by "jackpot" I mean "the most ridiculous doghouse ever to grace this planet." Here is how the seller describes it:
Custom built dog house for sale. Built last year for our German Shepherd but she has never used it. Built to resemble an old school house.Has wooden plywood bottom and sides with tin roof, and wood support under floor. Three plexiglas windows are on each side of the dog house with wire behind them for security, also a small window above front door. Door for dog to enter is in rear.. Double door effect on front of dog house does not open, however the brass bell does ring. Flower Boxes down each side and in front. Dimensions of dog house are approximately 60" tall 42" long by 30" wide. Vestibule in front measures approximately 18" by 4". Please email me with any questions. Thanks for looking!

Plexiglas windows? Brass bell? FLOWER BOXES?? I mean, I love my dog and all, but there is no way I would purchase something like this for him. Not even at the bargain price (ha) of $350.

Also, the music video for If U Seek Amy was released today. If you hate your ears but love watching the trainwreck that is Britney Spears, then congrats, you're in luck!

Lost and Found. And Lost Again.

I have sad news. I lost my Littman Stethoscope, and the only place I could have left it was at the Health Sciences Library. I checked with the librarians, and it turns out that someone had turned in a stethoscope that they had found a few weeks ago, but the librarians had in turn taken it to the UVA Hospital Lost and Found. And that's where the trail ends. Nobody has seen it since. I am sad because 1) it was a very good, and thereby expensive, stethoscope and 2) it was a gift from Dr. Kiev, a mentor with whom I had worked very closely during my college years. I guess, in the end, it's my fault for leaving it at the library. If only I had a brain! Or, more specifically, if only I had a functional hippocampus!

In other news, I went to City Hall to pay our utilities bill today, and I discovered that the pedestrian Downtown Mall has new bricks. And, it was Nosheen and Cooper's birthdays tonight. Party on!


Word of the Day: agnosagnosia, meaning the inability to recognize a particular deficit. In other words, not knowing what you don't know. This is often a result of strokes that damage the parietal lobe. Why do terrible medical conditions always have such cool names?

The trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine was just released. Okay, I get it: Hugh Jackman is really buff. And he's going to kick a lot of butt during the movie. He can even jump onto a helicopter (I think he just showed you up, John McClane). But wait... he also fought in the Civil War? Now that I just refuse to believe.

All those horrifying movies about robots going crazy and destroying the fabric of human society (The Matrix, The Terminator, Transformers, I, Robot, the list goes on) may not be too far from the truth. Kenji, a third generation humanoid robot programmed to love, is about to be decommissioned. Why? Because one night, he trapped a young intern in the lab and "used his bulky mechanical body to block her exit and hug her repeatedly." Of course this would happen in Japan.

I leave you with a clip from the Weekend Update segment of the last Saturday Night Live. Ch-ch-check it out!

Blast from the Past

Last night as I was walking back with Jim and Mary to get my car, someone creepily ran up behind me and started talking to me. After getting over my initial horror, I realized that it was Tad, one of my residents from when I was a third year. I ended up driving him home so that we would have time to catch up.

My residents from that year were the most absurd group of guys I have ever met. Of course, living in Old Dorms meant that out of the 20 of them, 19 were white, eight ended up pledging a fraternity, and one was arrested. The funny thing is, these same tough guys came into my room when we got back from Thanksgiving Break and demanded that I do a Secret Santa drawing for the entire hall. They also insisted on decorating our entire hall for Christmas, complete with wreaths and stockings with everyone's names on them in gold glitter. We even took a group photo that I used to make Christmas greeting cards for our entire hall. Man, did those guys have the holiday spirit.

In other news, it was 81 degrees outside today, even though last week at this exact time, it was snowing outside. Oh, Virginia. Your schizophrenic weather patterns never cease to amaze me.

That Hit the Spot

I just had my first Gusburger since I graduated from college. I was sitting there, peacefully, in the middle of Littlejohn's New York Deli, when I saw Jim and Mary walk by. They informed me that they were going to the White Spot. There was no hope from then on. I followed them like a lemming, knowing that where we were headed would lead to my ultimate demise. Yet, I pressed on, knowing also that at the journey's end laid the most delicious burger of all time. Hamburger + Fried Eggs = CRAZY DELICIOUS! That is all.

EDIT: Apparently the White Spot has been expanded and now includes a diner area where the Sweet Spot used to be. I noticed this last night, but we turned down the shiny, new booths in favor of eating on the old park bench outside where the homeless men sit during the day. UVA: it's all about tradition.

The End of an Era

This is the end of the beginning. Today, Nosheen and I officially assume our roles as the Mulholland Social Chairs, planning events for the entire medical school. Congratulations to Randy and Lindsay, who will be the new Class of 2012 Social Chairs. As our final hurrah, Nosheen and I planned a wine tasting event this afternoon at Jefferson Vineyards, where (conveniently) UVA Alumni Association Life Members get free tastings and dogs are allowed on grounds. Wait, you don't think we did that on purpose, do you...?

Thanks to everyone who made our run as Class of 2012 Social Chairs so much fun. Next stop: Foxfields. See you there!

Justice Is Coming to All of Us

Who's Watching the Watchmen? Well, I guess I just did. In fact, I just spent the past three hours at the Carmike in Charlottesville. As those of you who have stepped foot inside that theater can attest, I was besieged by the persistent odor of urine the entire time I was there.

Environmental circumstances aside, I... think I liked the movie? I'm not quite sure, because so much happened that i can't even pick out which parts I enjoyed and which parts I didn't. I guess the fighting scenes were pretty cool, but we saw waaay too much of the fluorescent guy from the Blue Man Group.

Anyway, I think I'm going to withhold final judgment until I read the original graphic novel. Maybe then I'll actually understand what just happened. And why it took 163 minutes to explain it in movie format.

The Day the Music Died, Part 2

I just watched the live season finale of Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew with Amanda and Sherin, and I am so glad that Quest Crew won! They have been one of my favorite crews since this season began, and they totally deserve to come out on top. Check out the short clip below from their performance on last week's episode, which secured them the title.

Whhen I came home, I discovered that Titan had chewed up my sheet music. And not just any sheet music, but the sheet music for Lauren's Distinguished Major Recital next Sunday. The sheet music that, conveniently, we will also be performing tomorrow night at University Village. I was able to piece the Mozart and Brahms sonatas back together using a roll of scotch tape and a ton of patience that I didn't even know I had. It was something like building a 5000-piece jigsaw puzzle, only the entire thing is in black and white, there is no box cover template, all of the pieces are irregularly shaped, and some of them have actually been swallowed by the dog. Unfortunately, Piazzolla's Le Grand Tango is completely beyond repair. Thank goodness Lauren made a photocopy of it last week, or I don't know what we would do tomorrow.


Second place. Actually, tied for second. By one point. We would have won if we said that Ted Williams wanted to be the best fighter pilot in the world. Paul, I will never forgive you. Especially after you topped my beer and made it spill AFTER I gave you a free one. Amnesty rejected. I just wanted to win. But we tied for second. And then by two out of three for rock, papers, scissors, we lost and got third. Wow. My day will come.

EDIT: I am well aware that Rich, not Paul, was the one who convinced me to change our answer to the Ted Williams question and cost us the game. However, I am a man of my word, and I will continue to hate Paul from the bottom of my heart anyway.

Today Is the Day

I have now been in Charlottesville for over four years, yet I have never won Mellow Mushroom Trivia Night. All of my friends have, at some point, claimed the top prize, but for some reason or another, I was noticeably absent each time this occurred. Tonight will be different. I feel it in my fingers; I feel it in my toes. I shall triumph, or I shall go down with a fight. Literally. I will punch anyone who scores higher than my team. Punch them right in the gonads.


Recently, I've been receiving e-mails from MATA. Until now, I've just been deleting them without thinking twice. This afternoon I received another one and decided to open it and see what these e-mails are all about.

It turns out MATA stands for Martial Arts Teachers Association. Somehow, despite the fact that I have done nothing to ask for it, I am now a permanent member of this organization. In this latest issue, I learned how to gain control of my school's growth, found out about a book called "The Impostor Syndrome," and was offered the chance to become a MATA master. Really, it's a dream come true!

I Have Fulfilled My Destiny

Harris just called me to ask me to pronounce "jiao zi" (dumplings) for him on the phone. Chinese heritage WIN!

It Hurts!

I woke up this morning to a winter wonderland of snow. Needless to say, we quickly made plans to go sledding this afternoon. There's only one problem: none of us have sleds. We manage to construct our own out of things like flatscreen TV boxes and garbage can lids. Sledding WIN! ...or so we think.

"Go for it!" John says. "It'll be awesome!" John says. I go for it. I plunge down the hill, going faster, spinning, going still faster, spinning even faster. The last thing I see is a park bench. A metal park bench, about to sever my cervical spine. I instinctively put up my arm, hitting the obstruction at 25 miles per hour, no wait, more like 100 miles per hour. I scream. I keep screaming. Miraculously, my arm isn't broken, it just has a bruise the size of an aircraft carrier. Not sure why this is the first analogy that comes to mind. Pain. Pain.

Fast forward six hours. The DVD screen comes up on Sunny's TV. The icon bounces off of the walls, changing colors each time it hits the border. Finally, it hits the corner! I jump, "HOORAY!" I jab my fingers into the too-short ceiling. The area under my fingernails are now bruised. I can still type, but it comes at a price. Pain. Pain.

First day of school... not goin 2 grate, akshully.


I also just caught up on all of my friends' blogs. For those of you who don't already read Our Separate Ways, I highly recommend this post. I guarantee, you will not be disappointed.

Buffet Withdrawal

I had to cook for myself today, and it nearly killed me. Okay, not really, but I had forgotten what it was like to prepare my own food and wash the dishes when I was done.

One good thing about being back, though, is catching up on all of my addictions. I just watched last week's episodes of Heroes, which was amazing, and Lost, which was kind of weird and unsatisfying. I also found this article on how to make a Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza. Bacon Explosion, I'm pretty sure you've met your match. Prepare to duel... in my stomach.

Classes start up again tomorrow. What are the chances that they'll be canceled if we get 5-8 inches of snow...?


Why is it snowing outside?? What happened to 82 degrees and sunny? I miss the Bahamas.