Sam Is A Good Person

For real. He's good for more than taking 9 million pictures per second. Jay kay, I know you all know this already. He's also good for ridic drunk messages left in the wee hours full of miscellaneous giggles and ummm-I-forgot-why-I-called-you-but-OKAAAYYYs. I KID! I kid.

Really, here's how I know Sam is one of the best people I know: whenever I'm lost (LOL ALL THE TIME before I had a GPS so now only sometimes, but still embarrassingly frequently. Sidebar: I drove like six miles down Melrose a few nights ago trying to get home...took me 30 minutes to realize I never saw that part of Melrose on my way to or from work. Literally, I was being like, "Since when do I live near an American Apparel, sweet!" before I realized that I don't, and I'm an idiot, and there was a reason my GPS was shrieking at me. End sidebar.) I call Sam.

Did you get through that sentence? Anyway, I would get lost all the time, even around Richmond where I had lived for, oh, all my life. And I would always call Sam to be like WHERE AM I I'M DRIVING PAST SIGNS FOR--I CAN'T READ THEM AAAAA!!! Sam would laugh and then do Mapquest or whatever else existed before Google Maps (nothing possibly?), and he would get me un-lost. Always. Every single time. Even that one time my friend and I realized after about eleven hours of driving to Canada that we had only printed out half of the directions (yeah, that was already like Major Thing #3 that was going wrong on this trip and that was ONLY THE BEGINNING), Sam just laughed and found us our way (onto a highway we dubbed the Canadian Deathway, but that's hardly Sam's fault. Canadians, not as gentle-mannered as you might have thought). I remember that moment. We had crossed the border, into this weird hinterland that looked both swampy and alpine at the same time. There were no towns. There were no landmarks. And I remember my friend being like, "Um...the directions look kind of...like they stop..." and then I blacked out for a second because maybe we were going to get eaten by bears. But no. Sam.

And like that's the most embarrassing thing Sam's ever helped me out of. As if! He has also allowed me to embarrass myself numerous, numerous times, but all in good fun. And Sam knows, if he ever needs someone to get rull drunk and yell at someone who has wronged him, I'm good for that like once or twice a year. So it's a symbiotic relationship. Plus sometimes I maintain his blog while he's in the Caribbean. And I took care of his dog. But mostly Sam's kind of a better person than I am, and I'm glad I know him. We all should be glad. Lulz, though, if he ever has to cure me of anything. That'll be the real test, won't it?