Nevermore

Noooo, a cesarean section wasn't good enough.  Noooo, I just had to ask to see the "real thing."  Noooo, I wouldn't be satisfied until I'd watched a baby being born by vaginal delivery.

WHY!?  Why did I have to witness such a terrible, gruesome, unholy, vile act?  Seriously, that is effing messed up.  As the baby crowned, the thoughts going through my head were, "This isn't happening.  WOW, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.  That baby is not going to fit through that tiny hole.  WOW, THAT BABY IS REALLY FITTING THROUGH THAT TINY HOLE.  The vagina can't possibly get any wider than it already is.  WOW, THAT VAGINA IS REALLY AS WIDE AS THAT BABY'S SHOULDERS.  Somebody hold me."

I have honestly never been so simultaneously filled with elation and dismay.  It's true, natural birth is a miracle, but it's a very disgusting and unsettling miracle that I don't ever care to see again.

EDIT:  This is not to say that I disapprove of vaginal deliveries, which, except for in special circumstances, I believe are healthier for both the mom and the baby.  I just don't ever want to see it happen again myself.  KTHXBAI!