LASIK

I need it.  No, seriously.  I'm tired of not being able to see anything when I'm not wearing my glasses.  Case in point:

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and saw someone sleeping next to me.  I immediately bolted out of bed because WTF I don't remember going to bed with someone else what is happening did somebody slip Rohypnol into my Vitaminwater??  Then I looked again and realized that it wasn't another person, but my roommate's dog Marley.

The End.