After a long and difficult week, my grandma passed away this morning. Everything I have learned on the wards tells me that this was the best thing for her, but that doesn't make letting her go any less difficult. I want to share this letter to her with anyone who might be reading this, because everyone needs to know what a wonderful woman she was.
Dear Niang Niang,
I don't know where to begin, so I'll start from my own beginning. You took care of me from the minute I was born. You taught me my nursery rhymes, my manners, and above all else, my love for food. I know you missed me when you sent me to America to live with my parents, and I missed you too. I came back as often as I could to visit you, but I didn't do it enough. I hope you can forgive me for this.
In many ways, it doesn't feel fair. It's not fair that we lived halfway across the world from each other. It's not fair that when you started getting sick, I didn't get to take care of you as much as your other grandchildren did. It's not fair that I didn't get to see you one last time before you left this world for a better place. I hope you can forgive me for this.
You always wanted to talk about me whenever we were together. But there's so much I wanted to know about you. What was it like growing up in a family where your father had several wives? How did you meet Dia Dia? Did you always want to be a mother of six, or did you have other dreams in life? I wish I had given you a chance to answer my questions. I hope you can forgive me for this.
But I still managed to learn so much from you. I learned that you were stronger than any Cultural Revolution or Great Chinese Famine. I learned that despite how gently you carried yourself, your favorite programs on American TV were COPS and boxing. I learned that you made the best platter of stinky tofu and played the meanest game of mahjong in the entire neighborhood. I learned that you were the best grandma anyone could ever ask for. I will never forget you for this.
Niang Niang, do you know how much I love you? I know that they're throwing the best welcome party for you up in Heaven, and I just hope that they're serving all of your favorite food.
Until we meet again,
Bao Bao
3 comments:
Your Grandma sounds like an incredible woman and reminds me of George's Ahma who passed away a few years ago. George and I are thinking about you...
this is really sweet sam. your letter reminds me of my own feelings when my grandmother passed away a couple years ago. may God comfort you and your family during this great loss.
Sam, So sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing and the pain you feel over it. Your letter expresses what we all want to say to our grandparents, I think. I'm sure, being young and having had her own grandmother's once, your grandmother knew the things you wondered about her the the depth with with you cared for her and her life. Take care.
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